Do you have a solid SUPPORT system?
So
you now have your well-designed goals—fantastic!
You also have your plan of action to achieve them—hooray!
You even have your achievement-management system set to keep you on track with
that plan—bravo!
What could possibly get
in your way now?
Actually, 7.7 billion things (the world’s current population at the time of
this writing), or at least those people whom you circulate with regularly.
Your associations are one
of the most powerful influences that determine whether you will stick to your goals or get
forever derailed.
Dr. David McClelland of Harvard University concluded after 25 years of research
that the choice of a negative “reference group” was in itself enough to condemn
a person to failure and underachievement in life. Scary, isn’t it?
His
discovery indicates that your reference group is more important in determining
your success or failure than any other single factor.
“Associations are both
subtle and powerful.” —Jim
Rohn
Your associations don’t
shove you in a direction; they nudge you ever so slightly over time. Influence
is so subtle that it is like being on an inner tube out in the ocean; you feel
like you are floating still, until you look up and realize the subtle current
has pushed you half a mile down the shore.
Jim Rohn explains: “You will become the combined average of the five people you
hang around the most. You will have the combined attitude, health and
income of the five people you hang around the most.”
Write down the names of the five people you hang around the most. Then write down how they support you in one column, and how they don’t support you in another column. I.E. Under John, you may write down. He did support me when I wanted to change jobs. He did not support me when I wanted to buy a dog. Do that with multiple topics and with each person. Then see who out of your 5 people support you the most. You will see clearly that the company you are keeping might be what’s standing between you and what you want to achieve.
This
may sound harsh. But sometimes the truth is harsh. You already know this.
“Keep away from people who
try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the
really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great.”—Mark Twain
If you
are really going to go for it. If you’re going to reach,
stretch and do things you’ve never done before. If you are going to be able to
achieve things you’ve never achieved before. You will need to reappraise and
reprioritize the people you surround yourself with. These relationships
can nurture you, suck the life out of you, or keep you right where you are.
Jim Rohn said “it’s powerful
to evaluate and organize your associations into three categories: dissociations,
limited associations and expanded associations”.
1. Disassociations – There
are some people you might need to break away from completely. What
friend(s) do you have that if you were your own parent, you wouldn’t let
yourself hang around because of their influence? Cut them loose.
This might not be an easy step to take, but it’s essential. You have to
make the hard choice not to let certain negative influences affect you
anymore. Decide the quality of life you want, and then surround yourself
with the people who represent and support that vision.
“Don’t join an easy
crowd. Go where the challenge is great and the emotions are high.
Go where the expectations are so strong that they provoke you, push you and
urgently insist that you not remain in one place. That way, you will grow
and change.”—Jim
Rohn
2. Limited Associations–
There are some people who you can spend three hours with, but not three
days. Others you can spend three minutes with, but not three hours.
Remember, the influence of associations is both powerful and subtle. You
get a deposit of the dominant attitudes, actions and behaviors of the people
you spend your time with.
Decide how much you can “afford” to be influenced, based on how those people
represent themselves. This is difficult, I know. I have had to do
this on several occasions, even with close friends. I will not, however, allow
someone else’s actions or attitudes to have an indelible influence on me.
“If you want to fly with
the eagles you can’t continue to scratch with the turkeys.” —Zig Ziglar
3. Expanded Associations–
Whatever area of your life you want to see improvement in, find someone who
represents the success you want—the parenting skills you want, the relationship
you want, the lifestyle you want—and spend more time with those people.
Join organizations, businesses and health clubs where these people
are and make friends with them. Create a circle of excellence by
purposefully selecting those with whom you will surround yourself.
Build your library of
expanded associations.
Invest in Mentorship–
Isn’t it interesting that the top performers in the world have the highest-paid
coaches and trainers? Having people who push you to excel is critical,
regardless of how successful you are. That’s why those at the top still invest heavily in
their trainers and coaches. You can never pay too much for someone’s
well-earned experience and guidance. They give you the advantage of the
shortcuts they’ve discovered. Their road map identifies the landmines so
you can avoid them. Their hard-earned wisdom can help you accelerate your
growth.
You’re never too good for
a mentor or coach. During an interview with Harvey Mackay, he
said, “I’ve had 20 coaches, if
you can believe it. And that’s not a typo. I have a speech coach, I
have a writing coach, I have a humor coach, I’ve got a language coach, and on
and on.” And he’s a top achiever, respected business leader
and best-selling author!
Are you
courageous enough to make the necessary changes to those around you?
Contact Score today to get matched up with a Mentor who will help you in
your business.
Steve Feld, MBA, provides training and business performance coaching to business owners, professionals and executives. Steve also speaks to organizations, conducts workshops and training. Focusing on the lead generation and revenue creation to get growth results for the business. Contact Steve today to see how he can assist you grow your business, steve@bizcoachsteve.com, or www.bizcoachsteve.com. He is in the business of growing businesses. Need a speaker, contact Steve today. #bizcoachstevef #entrepreneur #smallbusiness #business #smallbiz #coaching #businessowner #businesscoach #leadership #marketing #speaking